blogging than I have done.  I thought I was going to be publishing all these great insights and experiences with my daughters and frankly I just haven’t had the time.  My hats off to all of you that can keep up with all of this.  I am still trying to figure out how to get pictures posted….as for the move we have been packed and out of our house with stuff in Big M on the other had is maintaining at all levels and is interested in all of it.  I must say that I find myself frustrated with the lack of retention  in the money department though.  I would think from my experience of money as a child that it would be exciting and interesting to get an allowance, save and spend some of it, but it seems like it is just a HUGE painful chore for all of us to deal with.  I would love some feedback and suggestions on it if you have any. 

Well, after getting very frustrated with not finding the house and all the driving I have been doing lately, Grandma and Grandpa offered to let us move in until we found our house.  So the packing began the middle of last month.  I am always amazing at the crap you have to go through when you move.  As a kid I moved often so I learned early on only keep what you need.  I am not sure why this time seemed like I had a house that had 50 years worth of stuff to go through.  So we moved yesterday but not before we found out the day before that our offer was accepted on our perfect house. So I got to move stuff into storgae to in 30 days to re-move into our new house.  Ugh!!!!  Certainly can’t do anything easy….just waiting for Big M to start loosing it. 

Wow, May is almost over time goes by so quickly.  I am on a couple of chat groups and the mom’s have been reflecting on what they wish they had done different as they children are getting ready to go off to college.  They wish they hadn’t wished that their children start walking so they didn’t have to carry them around, they wish that they had worked less and spent more time with they children when they were younger…..and I must say that while reading their posts and reflecting on my past and things that I wanted from my Mom, I am grateful that I have choosen to do things differently.  I didn’t want my youngest to stop needing a bottle even though she choose to REFUSE it at nine months.  Yes that is right my baby was drinking formula out of a sippy cup hehehe I told you “faking normal”.  I am grateful that I want to spend the time with my kids instead of working extra to pay for sending them to something to be away from me… I love that my 6 and 7 year olds still want to sleep with me all cuddled up and cozy.  I am glad that I am spending time with them instead of reflecting back in 18 years wishing I had done it.  I am thankful that I have learned from others the things that I want to be different…I want to be the Mom that has fresh baked cookies waiting for them in the afternoon, I want to be the house that all the neighborhood kids come to, to play and talk with…..and I feel that I am heading in the right direction….

While the girls and I have seen a few flowers blooming we have seen and felt more weeds.  I think both girls have gone through more tissue this year then all winter long.  Ofcourse it doesn’t help having the typical Colorado weather either.  One day it is 40 degrees the next 80 degrees.  We are still house hunting but hopefully there are more on the market with spring here.  The houses I have seen should be buldozed and started over. I am looking forward to the girls having a great classroom this year. So on with the search for the perfect house. I think we are going to spend most of the summer at the art musuem and seeing/learning about the different exhibits.  My oldest is really showing some artistic abilities.

as a child I never thought time moved fast enough.  I was one of those kids that laid in bed all night wide awake waiting for the next day.  Now as an adult I blink and the day is gone.  I wonder how my children perceive time, if it is going as fast for them as it is for me or if it is slowly passing like when I was a child.  I can’t believe that May is already here.  It doesn’t help with trying to live in limbo looking for a house to get moved into.  Do I pack this if I do will I need it?  Then part of my New Year’s resolution this year was to spend less, save more.  Not to just talk about doing it but actually doing it.  Along with involving my children.  This year at 6 and 7 years old they started savings accounts and earning allowances.  Hopefully to give them an idea about money and the cost of things I know stretching it with  FAS kids.  We seem to be struggling right now with understanding about utilities, shutting off lights, not standing with the refrigerator door open, shutting the water off while brushing teeth and having a timer for taking a shower.  I feel that I am starting to sound like my Mother “were you born in a barn?”  I guess I haven’t gotten to that extreme yet but I am sure if I had my kids would just look at me and wonder what the heck I had just said and why. I would love comments and suggestions about what has worked for others if you stop by to visit.  As for the vase painting we did that this morning.  They turned out pretty cute until they got tired and bored with it. (They only painted 4 of them) I took pictures but getting them here is the trick.

with the craziness of spring time and trying to get everyone together for Mother’s Day this year we are getting together the week before to celebrate.  I got a crazy idea while in the thrift store a couple of weeks ago for the girls to paint on flower vases to give out to Grandma’s.  Tomorrow the weather is suppose to be close to 80 in Colorado so we are going to give it a try.  Just incase it turns out to be a dud we have enough time to do something else.  If I ever figure out how to post pictures on here I will show you the end results…..

I was hoping that today was going to be the day that I had something really profound and inspiring to add and here it is 6pm and we are settling down for the night and another day has passed.  I have had comments on my name of Faking Normal…it is actually the name I came up with for a book that I was/am suppose to write about my story with my girls.  While I have started writing it many times after a few pages I come back to the same thing, I frankly just don’t remember that much of it.  Sad but true the last six and a half years have been years have been just functioning and surviving.  Six and a half years ago I became a mother for the first time to two special needs girls.  What was anyone thinking when they handed my girls over to me?  That is frankly the question I ask myself almost every day.  Who thought that it would be a good thing to have a single woman raise two very demanding girls?  Some days I wonder if I am one of those people in the Alzheimer commercials that are affected by Alzheimer in her thirties….when I stop and try to remember things, it makes me sad that I don’t remember the details and wonder if they will come back to me (hopefully they are stored in long term memory to be recalled later).  Faking Normal came about because nothing in my life has ever been normal, I would ask my Mom if her pregnancy or my deliver was normal but that is another story for another time.  So every morning I wake up wondering if this will be the day that I don’t have to fake being normal,  ….and with that I leave you tonight.

I thought I figured it out, I only got half of it.  I think I have spent more time messing with the blog page then I have sleeping or interacting with my kids in the last 18 hours.  I am not OCD at all.   Thank you Maura and Andrea for posting and making me feel a little less doppy.  I guess I have a few years to figure it out and it doesn’t all have to happen yesterday, today or tomorrow. Kind of like the way my kids learn.  I am looking forward to searching out and reading others posts on the site.  I have come to learn with my kids and education, I learn the most from other Mothers I interact with then with any “professional”.  My hopes for blogging here is to look back when times are tough with my kids and see how far they have come.  I struggle as Maura put it more with society and their lack of understanding and compassion with our kids (especially when there is no “physical” sign of brain damage) then I have ever struggled with dealing with my girls disabilities. Before my girls came along I had time to journal and spent alot of time learning about myself.  I lost that when the girls came along and they required 90% of my time. I am hoping that I am able to come back to that self discovery and family discovery while blogging.  Besides I need to practice my writing, typing and computer skills. hehe They seem to be below standard levels.  So I look forward to the the conversations and blogging for years to come with anyone that comes this way.

I hope that everyone has a great day, I am setting the computer aside and going to spend the day with my girls who frankly should have my time instead of the computer. Until later…..

so I have been reading Woodstone Prairie’s website off and on for awhile.  She has been a mentor of mine (wether she knows it or not  ) and today I decided (not sure what took over me full moon?) to catch up and start my own homeschooling blog…..WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Snooping and browsing on other sites besides Woodstone’s site you all make it look so nice.  I have spent the better part of the day fighting with trying to figure out how to do it.  Today makes me wonder why I think I can homeschool…..